Pro Tips

December 2008

Andy’s Fuzzy Crab
December 9, 2008
Chris Beech
It was one of those chance meetings… I had posted a question on a popular internet forum, asking who was going to be in Weipa this June. After a few weeks of no replies I proclaimed to have the whole place to myself. Then Andy Altman (‘Kiwi Andy’ to the forumites) responds. Great, I thought, we’ll share it amongst the three of us!
 
As usual after dinner on the first night, the fly boxes came out. What’s been working? That looks good! We were hoping to get after some of the more difficult species on offer in the Weipa area, and I was keen to find out what had been working the previous week. One of Andy’s flies got my attention – when I asked what the hell it was, the response was ‘… Andy’s Fuzzy Crab, thingy?’! It was kind of half crab, half shrimp and looked edible – even to me...
 
Andy has only been salt water fly fishing for around five years, starting out in his native Florida Keys then making pilgrimages to Weipa following his defection immigration to New Zealand. Several trips back to the Keys, Weipa and Christmas Island have seen him land most of the dream fish on flies he dreamed up and tied himself, including Keys tarpon and bonefish.
 
Andy’s Fuzzy Crab is one of these and an adaptation of a fly that he saw on a Floridian website, Doc Hall’s Perfect Crab. He couldn’t duplicate it with the materials on hand, so he used what was available at the time. The rest is history – Andy’s Fuzzy Crab is now a proven pattern. Andy likes to build his flies on solid hooks – in this case, Mustads’ C68 SSS in size #2 to #2/0. This is a heavy hook and quite capable of being fished through rough ground to fish strong enough to leave your ankles trembling.
 
Not only does this fly utilize lead dumbbell eyes, but lead wire as well. No mucking around – this guy is to be fished on the bottom, with attitude! A small tuft of orange Arctic fox or rabbit fur is then tied in to imitate roe. The (visible) eyes are made from burnt monofilament, coloured and dipped in epoxy to make them prominent and durable. One is tied each side angled downward to the rear before a couple of turns of marabou dubbing is applied. Sili-legs are added to give more constant movement. You can substitute any kind of rubber leg here such as Uni-Stretch, Spandex, Grizzly Legs or Tarantu-Legs.
 
The body is made by palmering mink zonker strip in tan, cream or brown. If mink is unavailable Andy has used rabbit zonker strip, and I am going to be experimenting with pine squirrel for smaller size flies! Andy prefers mink due to its shiny guard hairs, but concedes with a grin that he may be splitting hairs on this one. Pun intended.
 
That’s about it for the tying – the proof is in the fishing! Drop this fly in front of cruising fish, let it sink to the bottom and give it a slow draw or slight twitch just before the fish is on it… It is a passable imitation of a small crab, shrimp – hell, it looks like food! The rest is up to you …
 
 
Andy’s Fuzzy Crab
 
Hook:                           Mustad C68SSS #2 - #2/0
Thread:             3/0 Monocord
Weighted Eyes: Lead Presentation Eyes (small - #2, medium - #2/0)
Body Weight:               0.025” Lead Wire, tied on top of the hook shank
Roe:                             Tuft of Orange Arctic Fox or Rabbit Fur
Eyes:                            Burnt Mono, Coloured and Epoxied
Collar:                          Tan Marabou or Rabbit Fur
Legs:                            6-8 Strands of Sili-Legs
Body:                           Mink, Rabbit or Pine Squirrel Zonker Strip
 

  1. Tie in dumbbell weighted eyes just behind hook eye, and two lengths of lead wire on top of the hook shank. The lead wire is an important step to ensure the fly flips over and sits flat each time.
 
  1. Tie in a clump of orange Arctic Fox or Rabbit Fur at the bend.
 
  1. Tie in mono eyes, one each side so that the eye is a shank length from the tie in point. Angle them out and down (remembering this fly will ride hook point up).
 
  1. Tie in a few turns of marabou applied as dubbing.
 
  1. Tie in 6-8 Sili-legs coloured to match the body of the fly and trim to length of 1 ½ shank length.
 
  1. Tie in Mink, Rabbit or Pine Squirrel Zonker Strip and palmer tightly to lead eyes. Tie off and cement.
 
  1. Present to fish!
 
How to Catch Fish after a Night at the Singles Bar
December 5, 2008
Cale Van Velkinburgh
The other day, while sitting on the can amidst deep thought I noticed a new book among the standard fly-fishing magazines and Men's Journals so common to a bachelor's bathroom. How to succeed in singles' bars- (For MEN Only!), was printed in big bold black letters across the top, with a final exclamation point to finish. And if that particular punctuation weren't enough, the word 'MEN' was written in red for added emphasis. The eye catching cover photo had a make up armored lady wearing a bad red dress at a bar, sitting with one long exposed leg crossed over the other, and a forced smile, which, no doubt, was for the poor sap approaching her. He wore a tan sports coat, unbuttoned, with a white shirt. The picture for this guide to destiny looked less like a smooth come-on and more like a staged hunting scene where the deer forces an awkward grin while the hunter sends a shot zinging into the brush behind.
          The Eiffel tower of moused hair the lady in red sported for her big night out told me this book was before my time. The small print on the top told me that this guide, upon initial print, cost three dollars and ninety-five cents, and that Cathi Chamberlain, a former Playboy Bunny (also in bold red print) was the author.
            I read on, and soon realized I was pushing through this book faster than a carp through grey water. Not only that, but enjoying it more than my standard hopper read, Presentation, by Gary Borger.
            Now I must part with a nasty secret. The entire time I was reading the fated words of How to Succeed in Singles' Bars- (for MEN only!) by Cathi Camberlain (Former Playboy Bunny). I couldn't stop thinking how much this reminded me of a "how to” fishing book. Except that fishing books are huge, laborious feats of the pen, yet tackling in comparison a topic of less concern to the greater population. Ms. Chamberlain’s book offers up the heavens as it were, yet is small and written in eggshell white language.
            “Perhaps,” I dared to speculate, “We have overdone our analysis of this wonderful fishing pastime?”
            “Perhaps,” I dared to speculate again, “We have lost our point within our own verbosity, our own narcissistic love of the angler’s wit, our own interpretations of the semantics of words like ‘rod,’ and ‘mend?” Riiiight, as if looking for self-improvement on the molecular level of fly casting might actually teach us how to do it?
            After all here is a monumental “how to” book on meeting women, (your soul mate nonetheless), in a singles bar, written by a former Playboy Bunny and explained in only fifty succinct pages. While La Fontaine has given us War and Peace on Caddisflies in a mere three hundred and twenty-four pages!
Maybe there is something a purveyor of fly-fishing know-how could learn from Ms. Chamberlain in terms of passing on such gilded knowledge. Maybe less is more, and maybe I can accomplish this right now, but first let’s look at Ms. Chamberlain’s method of teaching such fine skills.
For example, here is Chamberlain’s signature style, using a side-by-side list of what Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong does in chapter five, “Keeping her interested:”
 
1) Mr. Right joins the lady at her table only if invited. Mr. Wrong overstays his welcome.
 
2) Mr. Right stays at her table only a "moment,” creates "mystery," and returns later. Mr. Wrong ignores the lady's non-verbal cues indicating disinterest.
 
3) Mr. Right, after dancing, steers her away from her table for private conversation. Mr. Wrong intrudes on her and her friends at their table.
 
4) Mr. Right devotes complete attention to her and is a gentleman. Mr. Wrong gets drunk, flirts with waitress.
 
5) Mr. Right buys her drinks, and is a good "tipper." Mr. Wrong is cheap.
 
6) Mr. Right is "himself"- honesty in conversation, [unless being yourself puts you into Mr. Wrong category] Mr. Wrong puts on a false front hoping to impress her [unless a false front puts you into Mr. Right category] (43). *
 
Obviously Mr. Wrong is nothing more than a fly fishing guide who had the mishap of hitting on Ms. Chamberlain at the time she was writing her little “How to Book.” This must have happened at the Murry Bar in Livingston, or the Silver Dollar in Ennis, where Ms. Chamberlain came across some Copenhagen-spitting fellow in a multi-pocketed fishing shirt, and she mistook his intentions as being those of a man looking for a soul mate, when if fact, we know that this guide’s intentions were far from that.
 
So, can a similar approach unlock the secrets of fly-fishing? Can we explain obtaining trout on the fly in the same manner? We'll call the book "How to Succeed with Trout when you’re single (most likely for MEN only, since single fly fishing women are generally not single for very long) by Cale VanVelkinburgh, (Former guide and connoisseur of Playboy Bunnies), also in red print for added emphasis. The cover photo will depict an angler asleep on the bank, probably wearing a peach colored casting shirt and one of those caps with the really long bill that makes you like the Donald Duck outfit at Disney World. There will the lady in the red dress, standing over him on the bank, flipping him off.
 
This will be from chapter five, Habits of the Highly Effective Angler:
 
1) Good Angler is sneaky, wears drab colored clothing, and keeps a low profile while approaching a fish. Bad Angler vomits last night’s bourbon into river, stumbles and falls into the hole…then keeps fishing it as if the fish didn’t mind.
 
2) Good Angler starts by watching for rising fish, flying insects and looks closely around the river for evidence of hatching bugs. Bad Angler looks around the banks too, convinced that he might find hemp growing nearby, and then smokes a dandelion leaf by mistake.
 
3) Good Angler makes double hauls, stack casts, curve casts, and mends in order to achieve the perfect presentation, or drag free drift. Bad Angler casts with fixed amount of line, his free hand tightly gripping beer or flask, and then walks up river dragging line and flies behind him because “it worked last time.”
 
4) Good Angler follows the indicator or dry fly with the tip of his fly rod, making smaller line mends allowing for perfect drag free drift. Bad Angler has rod tip pointed at the Eagle flying overhead, forgets what a mend is, and subsequently loses focus of the task at hand. No, Bad Angler is not “high sticking.”
 
5) Good Angler is in tune with his surroundings, and observes proper angling etiquette. Bad Angler is lazy, or drunk and flirting with waitress, thus doesn’t pay attention and walks into Good Angler’s back cast, then blames Good Angler and wants to fight.
 
6) Good Angler anticipates the strike, even while mending, and looks for the slightest hint of the take, and sets on anything. Bad Angler is still looking at the eagle above, and misses each strike, or else believes that whenever the indicator moves it was “only bottom,” as if Bad Angler was Jacques Cousteau, and was wearing a dive mask and could actually see the flies hanging up on a rock.    
 
 
Does this wise Playboy Bunny have something she could teach all of us in the fly fishing world? Does her style of juxtaposing the positive character and the negative character, with good descriptions of their wrongs and rights work when we apply the strategy to fly-fishing? I think so.
Perhaps we overdo it sometimes and become obese in our own know-how when we sit down and write about the pursuit of fish. After all, these are fish we are talking about, right? Not Carmen Electra sitting in the Murray Bar alone on some random Saturday night. (Permit might be the one exception to this…but look how many books are out there on that subject). No, no, no. We do not write about fly-fishing for the impartation of knowledge to others. We write about fly fishing, we dedicate thousands upon thousands of pages to techniques that may only work once, or patterns that may never work at all, not because we are on a quest to be knowledgeable, but because we are head over high-heels in love with what we are doing: Fishing with a fly.        
In the next chapter I will cover the Dos and Don’ts of fly fishing from a boat, and Ms. Chamberlain will discuss, “Seeing her again.” Good luck!
 
             
  
*All commentary in parentheses is by me and not part of Ms. Chamberlain’s (Former Playboy Bunny) text.
 
Cathi Chamberlain (Former Playboy Bunny). How to Succeed in Singles’ Bars (For Men Only!). Chatsworth: CCC Publications, 1986.